WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN I HAVE WRITTEN

One of the deepest satisfactions of my life has be writing.    Whether it has been rated bad or mediocre or even on a few occasions good is of little interest to me, although I would rather it be rmembered as at least acceptable. 

I really stumbled into the avocation without planning or great effort.  It began in high school when in the 11th grade I took an aptitude test.  I remember the specific  question as follows:  "A new product has been developed. You are hired to work for the company which manufactures this product.  Which of  these options would you choose?  Draw a model of it.  Sell it.  Write a description of it.  Work on improving it. 

I struggled between selling it and writing a description of it, finally choosing the writing part.  That choice intrigued me and the following year I volunteered to work on the school paper and wrote a couple of pieces for it.  Just to see those mimeographed columns that bore name was strangely addictive.  Thus in college at my first opportunity I chose a course in Creative Writing.  It involved a lot of writing of various kinds but somehow I missed the part on "how to write."  So I just wrote as it came to me but never really felt like a writer.

While in that course the denominational childrens' paper editor issued an invitation to write short stories for publication and I decided to try.  I sold a story which certainly was an encouragement.  At the same time I was chosen the school paper editor.  This called for the regular writing of editorials and of course trying to work with other writers.  Then during another year I wrote a humor column for the school paper.  I became well acquainted with deadlines and the discipline of producing whether one was inspired or not. Writing was becoming more than a fun thing to do--more like a discipline.

Of course there were term papers and these increased in number and required depth in seminary.  Even with the solemn subject matter and the demands of research it seemed to me that these  papers ought to be interesting.  They were never marked so by the professors. 

One of my majors was religious education and it was for that reason that even before graduation I was invited to write the outlines, planning and content for educational programs for the church press.  While it provided a little income in this type of writing there was little opportunity add a distinctive flair or polish.  I didn't consider it particularly creative.  But it opened the door to write Sunday school lessons.  Since I was young the editors felt I would be a natural fit for youth.  So I took several assignments in that department.  But either I wasn't that perfect fit or there was greater need for the writing of teacher guides and study aides so I was moved to that department.  I worked at that level for about 12 years writing usually two quarters a year.  The remuneration was important for, at first, a half-time job as pastor, and later an inadequate salary as a full-time pastor. 

During the same period of time I was editor of two conference periodicals.  Here I found opportunity for a creative outlet in the editorials or other articles as I weighed in on issues.  It during that time that I imagined what it would be like to be editor of the denominational organ but fortunately that was not in my future.  That post required some gifts that I didn't come near to possessing.

All this time my writing nearly always included the writing of minutes for committees, conferences and eventually the denominational General Board.  Minute keeping makes certain demands different from other writing but even making dry facts readable seemed to me to be important. 

Finally, there were sermons.  For the first eleven years of my sermonizing I preached from an outline.  Sometimes the outline was expanded to full sentences to make sure I remembered how to say something I considered important.  But then came an eleven year hiatus from preaching while engaged in administration.  In that short time I recognized a dramatic change in the congregation's expectations and tastes. The prospect of meeting the new demands was very intimidating.  The only way I could have any confidence that I might communicate the way I wanted to was to write out my sermons.  From my perspective it made a significant difference.  I could better put together the right words that expressed what I wanted to say.  Further I could better control the timing of my sermons when congregations were increasingly sensitive to the length of a service.  And when there were requests for copies of sermons they easily reproduced. 

Looking back over those years I have memories of late nights toiling over my portable Royal typewriter struggling to be creative, fill the word-count, and meet the deadline.  In spite of writer's block and bleary vision from want of sleep somehow the pages were filled with words and found their way into print.  I could look back and see only pure drudgery .  But that is all transformed  when along the way I have met a stranger who, when learning my name, pauses and says, "Oh, I remember you as a writer for Youth Teacher.  I taught adults but I always read you first because it gave me good ideas." 

I then have the joyous sense that maybe I fulfilled a part of my calling to communicate and that way I was a writer.