A Funny Thing Happened On My Way to 90

My sister Elta just turned 92. Physically she doesn't seem to have much to go on. But up until a few months ago she was mentally sharp and had a quick sense of humor that just wouldn't give up. It was fun to be around her because she was always coming up with some clever one-liner that put a cute twist on situation that some people would miss all together or take it as ocassion for a rant or a complaint.



She confided that she didn't like to be asked how she was a dozen times a day, so when someone asked her answer was, "Just like I was yesterday." And if they followed up with "And how were you yesterday," she responded, "Oh, I forget." Even some possible grim situations got turned into funny stories, especially if they were about herself.



Like the time she told me that she was leaving the dinning room in her assisted care unit and when she got to the door she discovered she was pushing her chair instead of her walker. She said, "Well, you can imagine what I did--first thing I looked all around to see if anyone was watching."



Or the time she reminisced several times about carrying a bag of popcorn which she was munching on in her room. She reached up in a cabinet to retrive something when she lost her balance, fell backward and landed sprawled out on the floor, popcorn scattered far and wide. she gradually sat up, checked out her bones and found them all still connected. Deciding she might as well redeem the time while on the floor she worked her way around picking up the corn and eating it. Eventually someone came by or she rang the bell and help arrived but she had her popcorn taken care of.



While short term memory might be a problem some long term items were readily available for retelling. Those were often the ones that drew laughter from the family whenever they were told. Like the time Mother and Dad were entertaining company in the living room when our fox terrier, Terry, came proudly trotting into the room firmly holding Mother's corset in his teeth with the strings trailing along behind, then dropping his prize grandly in the middle of the floor.



Then there was the oft told tale of Dad teaching Mother to drive the 1913 model T Ford by having her drive the contraption into the garage. His instructions were no doubt as clear as mud and with Mother's nerves as taut as a high strung violin she got the general direction perfectly but didn't get the part about the brake and took model T directly into the back wall with Dad shouting, WHOA! WHOA! Elta had a number more, some less elegant but all with that twist of hilarity.

I must have inherited some of the same interest in recalling tales of yore, at least our visits always included sessions of "Can you top this." Of course over time there was some embelishment. It just proved that Mark Twain was right when he wrote in his biography: "When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so that I can remember only those things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it."

Fortunately at this point, most of what I remember actually happened. I am sure others included in the story would remember it differently but every one had no trouble getting the humor. I was a a small boy, perhaps four or five. Dad's nephew and his new bride paid us a visit, it may have been on their honeymoon. Our small house had no extra bedrooms but there were always ways to make do. This night the newly weds were give my parents bedroom where I also slept. Dad and Mother moved upstairs and I was moved to the living room sofa. That sofa was just on the other side of the wall from the bedroom. The next morning at breakfast when everyone was assuring each other that they had a sound night of sleep, I piped up that I wondered about the sleeping part reported by our guests when "they were fighting all night." I don't remember any outright laughter but I do remember some sputtering of coffee and snorting of cereal.

Old age looks a lot better from the sunny side of the street. With a merry heart doing good like a medicine and hope I can keep a smile as my umbrella and the joy of the Lord as my strength.